PunkrockPrincess141516
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Name: Robin
Country: United States
State: Washington
Metro: Puyallup
Birthday: 3/17/1992
Gender: Female


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Member Since: 6/22/2005

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Friday, October 02, 2009

Does anyone use xanga anymore?

I think its gone dead like myspace is going to be soon. lol
lifes still complicated as always but i have faith. I have a good feeling things will
turn around so fast soon that i wont even catch it at first.
<3


Monday, June 01, 2009

Camaron....

so now...hes found someone new...
who he says reminds him so much of me...
but its just a "thing"....
but last week he kissed me...and told me to hold on...
and now...
he says he promises we'll be together by next skool year...
he says he just needed a break...
but with someone else?....
he still wants me to wait...
he says he'll know by the end of the skool year...
by summertime...
god... why?....
and now im in a relaitonship with a man who has held me through all of this....
i dont want to hurt him either....
what am i to do?...
i love him so much...
will fate let us get back together?...
please god... send him back into my arms....
i love him... and no matter how hard i try... my heart wont let him go...
please god... please..


Friday, May 15, 2009

My Love Life

I never thought Id live through a true love story.

It all started in 7th grade. When i first saw him. I simply just fell. Not in love. Just for him. I wanted to be with him, know him, care for him, everything. But I wasn't exactly in the position to help anyone at the time. But when it came to just learning his name I was killed over and over again. I was always denied and told that he was so much higher than me. Sometimes when I said that he'd be mine one day I'd be beaten up. I never told anyone.. I didn't see the point. What could someone say to that? What advice could someone give? For two years I was miss lead and tricked by his friends.. Even to the point of them telling me I had to date them to get to him.. And to a point I believed it.. I don't know what it was about this boy that made me want to try everything to just be in his life. I just did. All through junior high he had no idea I existed. I was just another girl walking around the school to him. When I realized it was time to go to high school. I remembered him. I didn't know if he'd be at rogers. But something in my heart told me he would. And he was. When I saw him again, my heart stopped. Of course, he didn't notice me, or care. He never knew me. He never knew what I went through. Or how much his friends used me. He didn't know. How could he? Id never spoken to him before.  Id never let him know who I was. I was introduced to him once by Heather... but he instantly called me a whore. But who was I to prove him wrong? He didn't know me. How could he believe me over his friends? But in the tenth grade, I got him. And it was all by luck. We met at a choir practice on a saturday before our choir concert. I met him by Miles, who at the time was trying to date me along with like 4 other guys. When we looked at each other it felt like time froze. Just sitting there staring into his eyes. When we realized we were stuck in a trance we both blushed and turned away. Id never blushed at a guy...or about a guy before in my entire life. I knew right then that it'd be love. Our lives quickly entwined into each others. We just fit in each others arms so well.. like no others. I was truly happy, and truly in love. But there were hidden problems I never told him. Even though I was with him, his friends still treated me horribly. They told me I wasn't supposed to date him yet because I hadn't dated them. So they tried to pull me away from him as much as possible. And for a while, I almost fell in. But I didn't. I wanted to be with him, no one else. Once I told them this, it became war. If I was left alone with them for even a minute, they insulted me as much as possible. Or they'd even resort to hitting me. Telling me that I can't cheat the process of what was supposed to happen. They began to tell me again how I wasn't good enough for him. But the surprise was it was only them. Everyone else, even the good people who he hangs out with, said that he doesnt deserve me. And they still say that. So for almost a year I dealt with his friends killing me mentally and physically. I kept telling him my bruises were from iron deficeny. But it was a lie. I knew he'd never believe me over them. I knew if I told him the truth, that he'd ask them. And of course no one comes out openly about hitting someone. So they'd denied it and he'd believe them and call me a liar. Not to mention it was three against one. I was alone in my corner being tourchered. And the one man I thought would protect me wouldn't believe me. Sometimes I wonder if not telling him made things get worse. As time went on he began to listen to more of what they said. Especially about me. I know why they said it. And I knew I couldnt stop them. But I tried to fight them. I kept telling my love the truth. I kept trying to make him see what they were doing. And three times he believed me, then left. Three times he's broken my heart. Three times he's played with me. Three times he broke lose then fell to their tricks...what am I to do?...It's me against three people who are mad at me for not going through their "process". He picked them over me.. did he ever really love me?...did he ever mean it when he said he wanted to spend his life with me?...did he lie?... does he realize whats going on?... does he know how many nights ive spent crying to sleep over him?.... why is it that he listens to people who dont know the whole story and dont speak the truth?...why is this?... is it because hes scared?... does he not want to believe it?....i dont know.... i pray to god that he is helped.. and that someone wakes him up... hes turned into such a mean person.. i hate it... everyone except his "friends" say that they're only being nice to him now till he graduates.... that they want nothing to do with him once the years over.... he lost everyone except the people that use him.. the people that hurt him... and theres nothing i can do... i try to talk to him... but it always ends in him yelling at me and being frustrated at me... im only trying to help.... does he even know that?.... god... what can i do to bring him back?... to make him, him again...and not what his "friends" want him to be... is it really going to take him getting hurt or in serious trouble to learn?... should I wait for him?.... can i wait for him?... will i spend the rest of my life broken hearted over him?... i dont know..... for right now im holding on....im praying for him.... hoping for him..... but i dont know if he even cares about me anymore... i dont know whats fake and whats true about him anymore... please god..... help him...



Friday, November 28, 2008

My Life

 

Well, this is me today.
Some love it, others, not so much.
A lot has changed in my life.
My rents are getting a divorce, I have a bf, I have a job
and college physics is annoying me!
I am proud of my grades this year tho!

Nutrition/Fitness.....A
Physics......B+
Spanish 3......A
American Studies......A
Algebra 2......B+
Junior English......A

I learned that my GPA is a 3.6!!!
It's really amazing!!
The only thing NOT amazing though is my job.
I work at McDonalds as a crew member and I HATE IT!
I got the job because I wanted income.
But it was mainly because my dad said we need help with money.
I hate my job.
Me and my mom both agreed I'd work there till skool is almost out
and then I'll try to work at Forza!The coffee shop! AKA: my 2nd home!
That's where I wanna work!
I want to be a barista!
I want to go to coffee competitions!
But not everyone can be a winner huh?


Wednesday, June 27, 2007

The Poetry of Pablo Neruda

Everyday you play with the lights of the universe.
Subtle visitor, you arrive in the flowers and the water.
You are more than this white head that i hold tightly
as a cluster of fruit, everyday, between my hands.

You are like nobody since i love you.
Let me spread you out among yellow garlands.
Who writes your name in letters of smoke among the stars of the south?
Oh let me remember you as you were before you existed.

Suddenly the wind howls and bangs at my shut window.
The sky is a net crammed with shadowy fish.
Here all the winds let go sooner or later, all of them.
The rain takes off her clothes.

The birds go by, fleeing.
The wind. The wind.
I can contend only against the power of men.
The storm whirls dark leaves
and turns loose all the boats that were moored last night to the sky.

You are here. Oh, you do not run away.
You will answer me to the last cry.
Cling to me as though you were frightened.
Even so, at one time a strange shadow ran through your eyes.

Now, now too, little one, you bring me honeysuckle,
and even your breasts smell of it.
While the sad wind goes slaughtering butterflies
I love you, and my happiness bites the plum of your mouth.

How you must hva esuffered getting accustomed to me,
my savage, solitary soul, my name that sends them all running.
So many times we have seen the morning star burn, kissing our eyes,
and over our heads the gray light unwinds in turning fans.

My words rained over you, stroking you.
A long time I have loved the sunned mother-of-pearl of your body.
I go so far as to think that you own the universe.
I will bring you happy flowers from the mountains, bluebells,
dark hazels, and rustic basket of kisses.
I want
to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees.

 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<3

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write for example, "The night is starry
and the stars are blue and shiver in the distance."

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight i can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one i held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me, sometimes i loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight i can write the saddest lines.
To think that i do not have her. To feel that i have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is starry and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight tries to find her as though to bring her closer.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how i loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. As she was before my kisses.
Her voice, her bright body. Her infinate eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe i love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one i held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that i write for her.
 

 



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